Overwhelming

Tidal waves of hormones,

dishes,

schedules,

a death sentence.

Meditation,

writing,

walking,

cooking,

smiling,

all tossed upside-down like so much krill in this sea.

I ride out one wave.

Sit in the trough of another.

Catch my breath just in time to suck it in for the next one.

Unrelenting.

I can't seem to get to the crest.

Feeling small and tired of paddling.

Not even sure which end is up.

I would like to enjoy the ride,

swirling in whorls with the sand that makes such pretty patterns.

Instead I just fight to find the spot where the waves die down.

Survival.